Weird Infatuations

This blog is so dangerous. Any time I get a blank writing essays, I feel inspired to write something here instead. See?, I’m capable of putting sentences together… Honestly, I will plough through the rest of my essay- after this.

So keeping with my nostalgic theme, here are my strangest crushes (although, they have all been pretty weird):

Charles Bukowski (because his poetry didn’t make my brain explode, and his strange self-deprecating self aggrandization in his novels actually worked to make me think he was awesome, even though clearly, he was a misogynistic, alcoholic bastard… also dead – 2 years)

De Niro (because I watched Taxi Driver too many times, and his psychotic behaviour started to look normal, 3 months)

Daniel Kitson (for a week because he said being horny made him stutter… ok, I still have an eensy bit a of crush on him)

That guy with the lazy eye who I thought was gay (I liked his brain, but otherwise, god who knows- 6 months)

That guy who played the oboe or some woodwind instrument (also a complete mystery, 2 months)

That guy who was WAY too old for me (because he always fought with me and had a sexy voice, 5 months)

Carrie Brownstein (from Sleater-Kinney because she looked hot when she played her guitar at The Corner, 2 months)

Ralph Fiennes (1 year circa Quiz Show, because I thought, and still think he’s kinda hot)

Trey Parker (on and off for five years, still kind of ongoing when I remember; his cannibal musical tipped me into infatuation)

Current Strange Crush:

That guy on Days of our Lives who used to constantly rip his shirt off for no good reason (he has a sexy accent), and suffers from ‘disappearing lips’.

Perhaps my only understandable infatuation ever:

That guy at my old job who was really beautiful (but approachably, ruggedly so), who had a really fantastic smile and was really smart and nice. I wonder what happened to him.