Proportion

Was standing in a shop the other day agonising over a pair of $8 earrings. Not because they were particularly expensive, but because they were truly hideous, so naturally I really had to have them. I stood there for a good ten minutes debating the novelistic worth of ugly earrings, trying to determine if $8 was an unreasonable sum for its limited appeal (namely me giggling at their horribleness, while other people try to discourage me from wearing them in public). In some ways this agonising is completely out of whack if you consider that I often waste four bucks on a (large) coffee… twice in one day.

Coffee buying in general I think, is a great equaliser in money spending logic. The most significant of these money spending dilemmas of course would be ethical spending: i.e. should I donate $50 to great big disaster fund or even more head scratching- $30 a month for world vision/oxfam contribution/something else along these lines? “But- that’s a whole 360 dollars!” you say, “I could spend that money on a fantastic pair of jeans” you think, or you know, food and rent- whatever floats your boat. Then however, you realize that the three dollars you spend a day (at least) on random, frivolous things- let’s say coffee, comes to a cost of $780 a year (spending $3, five times a week). And you think “wow, that’s two fabulous pairs of jeans, and perhaps a t-shirt”. Yes coffee is indeed a great equaliser.

It is quite scary to realize the amount of money I randomly spend on a daily basis, when considered that I claim regularly that I have no money (and really, I have NO money). I’ve recently taken to writing down every single dollar that I spend in a day, and this is a sample:

$4.50- off peak daily concession ticket, $7.50- russh magazine, $1.35- eraser, $4.65- asian groceries, $2.55- can of tuna, $25.00- Cheap Eats guide. The last one is particularly ridiculous because I recently made a vow that I would keep eating out at an absolute minimum- thus the need for a guide to tell me where to eat out is incredibly stupid. Yes, I have great logic. The next day was worse: $5- train ticket (unfortunately could not save the 50 cents because I had to catch a train before 9am, damn that 50c could have saved me… a whole 50c!), $11.95- book (sentimental journey- which I really, really did not want to buy, and was quite annoyed I couldn’t find a copy at the library or second hand shop in time for my class) $4 roll from food co-op (yum), hairpins $6.50 (not only was this a frivolous buy, but it turned out that neither pin would stay in my hair- yes there were only two), $40 paying friend back for purchasing tickets to a gig, $40- t-shirt (I’d like to qualify that this t-shirt was grey and non-descript: no print, no funny slogan. plain.grey.t-shirt. $40 because I liked the shape. Hmmm.

It’s not that I necessarily think that my money spending is completely out of control or particularly excessive, nor do I think that I’m not justified in spending my cash the way I do- I’m more concerned with the fact that there are so many things that I choose to buy which have so little importance to me, but in not being spent and perhaps given to someone else, could be of incredible importance. However, even though I tell myself these things, it would not really occur to me to think seriously about charity because clearly that would put me out a little bit- I’d have to think about not drinking that coffee, not buying random things that I don’t even like, let alone need. Coffee seems to be the quintessential example for me, because it is often such an unthinking habit, daily consumption, momentary pleasure- and in my case half the time I buy because it is social or habitual, not even because it is particularly pleasurable (ok- so there’s a lot of pleasure a good cup of coffee can give you, expecially avoiding the awful awful caffeine headache not drinking the stuff can give you).

I guess I’m saying that I have an incredibly bizzare sense of proportion- to the extent that it is difficult to think of anything- be it the environment, charity, social/political justice- anything that ostensibly has great significance, as more important than my daily comfort. Water saving? bah!, Environment? Bah! Poor starving children on the other side of the world? Forget about it! I have no uplifting ending to this post- go forth and be depressed at your similarly lacking sense of proportion (or alternatively, feel smug at your relative greatness, whatever). Or yeah, or we could do something… stuff, possibly.